Does this Godly man exist?
When I noticed I was getting impatient with waiting and believing for a ‘Godly’ man, I started genuinely considering men outside the Christian faith as potential partners. Thinking back to the few opportunities I had ‘missed out’ on because of my Christian values, made me feel:
1) a little short-changed by God and quite frankly stuck.
2) like those men would have be an EVEN BETTER match for me.
In the end, I came to realise they wouldn’t have been.
Did I choose this lifestyle?
I’ve always attended church as far back as I can remember. I pretty much grew up in the church. My parents never pushed Christian rules or doctrines on me. They just exposed me to God and allowed me to develop my own personal relationship with him. I can therefore confidently say, I chose this life.
Are Christian women torturing themselves?
So, let’s break down this question and try to find an answer – “Are Christian women torturing themselves by waiting for a Godly man?”. In short, (& in my opinion) the answer is YES an NO. Let’s break this down even further. If a Christian woman has had options clearly laid before her and she still chooses to wait for a Godly man, then she isn’t torturing herself. She is rather putting herself through trials and struggles.
Eeek! – Does that still sound like torture? Let me explain.
Torture, struggles & trials often get lobbed in the same basket yet they have different implications. ‘Torture’ implies pain being inflicted, possibly by someone else, whereas ‘trials’ imply situational tests with a reward at the end. A trial or struggle offers a promise at the end of the dark tunnel.
So let me try to explain where this question even come from.
I was having a conversation with a classmate from a course I took recently, asking her about her country and culture with specific reference to a potential date I had, as he was from the same place and something didn’t seem quite right. I mentioned to her that I met him online and the fact that he was a Christian too.
Things started to make sense to her as to why I had encountered a strange guy and she suggested, maybe not mentioning on my profile that I was a Christian would help. I guess there was an element of wonder as to why someone normal like myself would want or even need to go online to find a date. I felt the suspicion in her voice. And it reminded me of all the other times I had had people ask, “But does he HAVE to be a Christian?”. My answer: for a simple date, no, but if he actually wants me to take him seriously, then yes.
This is how I see it.
When you settle, you aren’t hurting yourself as much as you are the other person. Nobody wants to be anything other than your first choice. So, when someone tells me they have a specific preference or requirement in a partner I never question it. People have all sorts of requirements when it comes to choosing a spouse. Some people even create long lists and they are able to get everything on that list in a partner. So, why should waiting for a Godly man be extraordinary?
That conversation made me think. Am I ACTUALLY torturing myself? Do people think this about ALL Christian women? Does the world think we do this JUST to be stuck up?
“You accept the baggage that comes with it..”
To others, it may look like torture to desire and wait for a Godly man, but, the truth is, once you have freely chosen and accepted the Christian life you accept the baggage that comes with it and carry your cross. I’ve learnt that great things don’t always come by easily and easy things aren’t always great for you.
I understand that the waiting game can often feel like torture.
I had to make the decision to be either IN or OUT. I chose in, because I caught a glimpse of the reward on this crooked road we call ‘the wait’ and felt like it was worth it. My hope is that we as Christian women can show the world what it looks like to wait by choice and not by force. To enjoy the journey and be enlightened on our singleness, while desiring marriage.
Look out for the recording of a chat I had with my good friend on this topic. It’s coming soon!
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